Yajnyawalkya Chapter 40.

 Far away in a little village were two women, withdrawn from the life around them, huddled in silence and naturalising the language of fear and endurance. Suddenly one of them stirred. It was Maitreyi. She turned around and raising herself on her elbow bent over the face of her companion.

Katyayani felt the touch of her breath and woke up.

"What?" Are you awake still? What hour of the night is it?"

Getting no reply from Maitreyi Katyayani got up from bed and clasped Maitreyi's hand resolutely. Maitreyi was motionless as though hit by some force that made her immobile. She continued to stare in the darkness. Katyayani shook her up to bring her back to her senses. There was no response, only a dead silence. Katyayani shook her up violently and then cried in distress, "What's wrong with you? I just can't handle you. Why don't you speak? Don't you understand how exasperating it is  to have you lying beside me like a haunted creature?"

Wisdom and strength had never been Katyayani's strong points. In her lack of discretion she always identified the unnameable. The effect of her surcharged words was unexpectedly scathing. Maitreyi broke down like a river in torrent. There was nothing else Katyayani could do except to stare at her in disbelief. She had never known Maitreyi in such a state before. She had always taken it for granted that it was her prerogative to give vent to emotions and it was Maitryi's duty to bear the burden of her sorrow.

Language failed her. What was she supposed to and say? What word, what gesture would communicate a message of fortitude to this woman who was never known to have grieved before?

She just stayed by, awe-struck, as though watching a child in the grip of a deadly carnivorous beast. 

When the tide abated, Katyayani knew it was she who must speak. She knew how Maitreyi needed to be supported and consoled. But she refrained from all physical contact. Holding herself away, she spoke.

"Do I not understand what's happening to all of us? But I don't fool myself like you!"

Maitreyi did not seem to hear anything. In the surrounding darkness Katyayani's words sounded like the voice of an oracle.

"I am not going to lead a life of spirituality because there is no other option left. What does your marriage and mine amount to? A passive surrender in the name of Piety? Do you realize what state we have been reduced to? I tell you , before you can get out of your misery you must tell yourself you are miserable. Don't fool yourself thinking that you are strong and unaffected. I know it hurt; let it hurt.! Which physician has beena ble to heal wounds that have never been exposed? Healing is a painful process my dear. It takes away your selfhood sometimes when you are required to say that you are in need of healing!"

Without intending or knowing what she was doing, Katyayani was leading Maitreyi  towards light. Katyayani continued with unabated and unsought for strength.

"You must disown Yajnyawalkya."

At this Maitreyi made a feeble response. " I have never been able to own him."

Katyayani shot back like a tigress under attack. 

"Don't quibble with words and rhetoric of spirituality!" It is knocking you down in prostration. Face up to the reality.!"

"I have known it all along. I have never been able to get away from it."

" then I am asking you to articulate it"

"I can't. I feel my strength ebbing out."

At this Katyayani pounced on her. The violence and the suddenness of her impulse were amazing. She gripped Maitreyi by her shoulders and forced her to sit up, and the shook her up as though she was going to batter her soul out of her body.

" Say that; say that again and i will see to it that your strength really leaves you and you drop dead. 'I can't;'  you say. Indeed you  can't!. You can't quit and leave me in desolation to face it all alone. Tomorrow as soon as the sun rises I'll set off on my journey to Videha."

Maitreyi was taken aback.

"Where will you go?" she asked, thinking  that it was one of Katyayani's not too infrequent outbursts of fury.

"I am going to Videha," Kaytyayani spokeeach word with a resolute emphasis.

Then she lay back, not in exhaustion but in peace. Turning her back on Maitreyi she lay in silence.

Sushama Karnik.